Giving the best gift for any occasion isn’t really about the stuff. It’s about acceptance and understanding another’s differences. Isn’t that what we all truly desire? To be understood, seen, and accepted – being your true Self? We all crave this, and I believe it with all my heart. Yet only a few people have ever had the privilege of experiencing these elusive gifts.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness. – Oliver Wendall Holmes, Sr., American physician and poet.
It’s the Work of Sacred Personality Typing
A friend of mine, Nicole (ESFJ), an Attentive type according to my work in sacred personality typing (MBTI with a spiritual understanding), invited me to a day of fun in Ocean Springs, Mississippi. It’s one of my favorite places on the planet, so of course, I said yes.
Nicole embodies her personality type – she is true to herself. Let me explain. As a Fe personality, the ESFJ excels at “fitting in,” using the language and customs of others in a way that is pleasing and familiar. Because they are good at what they do, ESFJs can be very enjoyable, kind, courteous, friendly, forgiving, and generous. But perhaps most importantly, they are easy to talk to since they want to hear you and will make sure you know that.
As a result of their Fe, ESFJs are often driven to sacrifice themselves for others. The ESFJs tend to be service-oriented and are uniquely capable of helping because their Fe (extroverted feeling) is coupled with Si (introverted sensing). I think the best way to look at an ESFJs Si is as sensitivity to one’s impressions of the environment. They are grounded and focused on things as they are and not as they could be, which tends to give Si types a down-to-earth, practical perspective – helpful and stabilizing. She is so genuine, it makes her a joy to be around!
How Her Personality Shows Up in the World
Nicole and I were off on a day of fun. I had casually mentioned I needed some new photos for a proposal. I wanted the images to reflect my persona as I also work with soul-driven entrepreneurs to help them create their work process; The Well-Spoken Brand. Nicole listened, and by the end of the day, I had over 200 photos. Wow. Ahh-maz-ing! Whenever I am around Nicole, her energy is always generous, and she seems to know what is needed and effortlessly makes it happen. I call myself Amelia Bedelia because I am forever in my head (the Inquisitive type (ENTP)) and not very conscious of reality, so silly things seem to follow me, and I often overlook the details.
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself, Jean Anouilh, a French dramatist.
When a Gift is Given and Received in Love
Nicole shows up at my house with a beautifully framed print from a local Lousiana artist, and of course, it suits me to a T. What moved me is this piece of art was from her late father, whom she loved deeply. It was a huge gift of love. I accepted the print with a hug and a huge thank you.
Understand that my (Fe) extroverted feeling trait is an emerging trait. It’s number three in my functional stack, so I am only sometimes aware of my feelings. It took me a while to digest the gift experience, which I did in a boutique store in Ocean Springs a few hours later. I grabbed Nicole’s hand and said, “are you sure you want to part with such a precious gift?” I had tears in my eyes, and she said, “yes, Nina, because I know you will love it.” We hugged in the store, embracing each other’s love-light energy.
Our loving energy was powerful because the artisan on-site demonstrating her work spoke up and said, I loved seeing you two hug. You just made my Christmas. Nichole and I just smiled, and when the lady asked if we were sisters, we said no, but yes…
The need to be normal is the predominant anxiety disorder in modern-day life – Thomas Moore, author Original Self
How to Begin the Gifting Process In Your Own Life
How do you begin the gifting process in your own life? I believe it starts with loving yourself, which isn’t always easy. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have great role models for loving relationships, nor was I shown how to love myself. So it has been a journey.
What I have learned going through my 7-year life tsunami was to accept and understand myself. You see, I’ve always been eccentric, very Amelia Bedelia-like, while also highly curious and a humanitarian – a combination that had me ridiculed for much of my life. So loving myself is part of my purpose work.
When you get better at accepting others’ differences and loving yourself, it will assist you in being more accepting and understanding of others. This is the best gift you give another.
Giving the Best Gift for Any Occasion
Nicole makes giving the best gift for any occasion easy, as she is a kind, generous person who sincerely wants to help. I realize this isn’t always the case. My advice is to step back and become an observer. If someone is getting under your skin and making you anxious, refrain from judging and correcting them. Instead, step back, and see what their behavior is mirroring. Is it something that you, yourself, need to change?
Maybe it’s a lesson they need to learn, and you are their mirror as you’ve already learned it, and it could be why you’re being triggered. Just because you know it doesn’t mean it won’t be triggering! Either way, know challenging situations are a time of personal growth. Acceptance and understanding yourself and others are essential.
I have come to this planet to learn to love myself more and to share that love with all those around me, Lousie Hay, author, speaker, and soulful teacher.
How will you Give the Best Gift this Holiday Season?
How will you give the best gift this holiday season? Remember, it starts with loving yourself. Take the first step, and wake up every day with a mantra. The quote above by Lousie Hay is a favorite of mine.
You want to avoid negative self-talk, the buzz kill of self-love.
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